"Sir knows our language?"

October 22, 2010. One week before surgery.

Sat, 23 Oct 2010 13:09:56 -0700

October 22, 2010. One week before surgery.

Drixilla. I have been dealt quite a blow these past few...

Thu, 23 Sep 2010 22:43:00 -0700

Drixilla.

I have been dealt quite a blow these past few weeks. My emotions have run the gamut. Perhaps I should step back and explain a few things.

I originally started Drix in the city tumblr as a way to talk about my experiences in San Diego, to possibly post pictures of my cat looking at the buildings, and so on. Mostly it was going to be about my constant companion, my cat Hendrix. To this point, I have not done a very good job.

Three months ago, in early June, I felt three small lumps in Hendrix’s right rear leg. I immediately became concerned and went to the vet. The vet expressed her concern that they might be a product of a vaccine associated cancer. She wanted to perform surgery to remove the lumps. I admit I was hesitant to jump into surgery. I think maybe if she would have said “biopsy” I might have been more willing to have an immediate surgery.

Instead, I waited. I waited until September. By that time, the small pebble feeling things in his leg had grown to several centimeters. I knew that it was going to be something bad. I scheduled an appointment for surgery, brought him in and was called by the vet two hours later. She called to tell me she did not want to perform the surgery because the growth increase further cemented her belief it was cancerous. She performed an aspiration (stuck a needle in it to get some cells). A week later she called to tell me the results of the aspiration were “inconclusive” and that there were “abnormal cells” and that cancer often breaks down the cells resulting in inconclusive readings.

She encouraged me to go to a specialist immediately.

I met with a surgical and radiation specialist a few days later. They felt Hendrix’s lumps, measured them, and told me that because of the growth pattern, the growth rate and the location, they believed the lumps to be Feline Vaccine-Associated Sarcoma.

When I asked what causes this cancer, these specialists could only tell me that it was something in the vaccine. As a law student images of cases in Tort law ran through my head. How can this be? How can a manufacturer of a commonly-used vaccine put a product out that is known to cause cancer?

I spoke with the specialists, who told me of my options. The options were: 1) aggressive radiation with a surgery removing the growths or 2) amputation of Hendrix’s leg. Option 1, even if the surgeon got “clean margins” Feline VAS is very aggressive (another blogger has referred to it as “the Monster”) and the chances are very high (think 99%) of the cancer returning. This would mean that every few years I would have to deal with this, Hendrix would have to deal with this. Amputation on the other hand only has a 25% chance of the cancer returning.

I knew my choice. I don’t like my choice. I have no other choice. I have to have his leg amputated.

I still have to have tests run to make sure that the cancer has not spread its evil roots to an area beyond where a vet can amputate.

The hardest part is not the fact this is going to cost me upwards of $5500.

The hardest part is the fact that Hendrix is not in pain. I can touch his leg and it does not hurt him (though he does take a swat at me in normal Hendrix fashion—for touching somewhere other than his head and neck). He is going to have to go in for surgery, have his leg removed, and have no idea why.

He is going to be missing a leg and not understand. His life will be forever changed and he will not know why.

My only hope is that he knows it is because I love him dearly.

While preparing myself for whale-watching I imagined seeing...

Fri, 29 Jan 2010 10:42:31 -0800

While preparing myself for whale-watching I imagined seeing these monstrous (but lovely) creatures of the sea hobnobbing with my boat, sunning themselves in the San Diego day on their way down to get some lobster and margaritas in Mexico. Little did I know my experience would resemble something closer to watching grass grow. The pictures shows the sighting of a whale— “look it blows air out of its blowhole”. We were fortunate to be able to catch a glimpse of its back— from 100 yards or more away.

Still fun to say I have sailed the seas.

"Would you be the wind to blow me home Would you be a dream On the wings of a poem And if we were..."

Fri, 11 Dec 2009 13:49:00 -0800

“

Would you be the wind to blow me home
Would you be a dream
On the wings of a poem
And if we were walking through a crowd
Well you know I’d be proud

If you call my name out loud
Do you suppose that I would come running
Do you suppose I’d come at all
I suppose I would

And if we were walking
Down a dead end street
Would you be the one to let our eyes meet
Or would you just keep on walking
Down to the turn around
‘cause you know I’d be proud

And if I was gone from the land we know
Would be the dawn
And let your beauty still show
And if you were walking
And heard the cold night coming
Would you call my name
‘cause you know I’d come running

”

- Outloud- Dispatch

"This fork does me no good, No good with this rice. Spicy rice, You made me think twice. Takes lots..."

Mon, 23 Nov 2009 07:39:37 -0800

“This fork does me no good,
No good with this rice.
Spicy rice,
You made me think twice.
Takes lots of dropped granules
For someone like me
(Crammed together Inherently)
Foreign to loneliness to see,
I can put down the fork
Go to the kitchen drawer
And get a spoon.
Mobility is a gift of life,
And spoons work better for rice.”

- Concave

Just about right.

Sun, 22 Nov 2009 20:21:51 -0800

Just about right.

Just Desserts...

Sun, 22 Nov 2009 19:31:55 -0800

Best Text Conversation in awhile:

Sarah: So there's a girl at this bar and she looks just like Victoria from HIMYM except that she blonde and fat
Pamala: That is big excepts. Maybe pie at ate all the cakes? Awesome though. Makes of remember how much I loved that show.
Sarah: Wow T9 really got you on that one. Maybe pie ate all the cakes indeed.
Pamala: That might be the best T9 mistake ever!
Sarah: It is now my go to thing to say in awkward situations.
Pamala: I think I need to invest in a more text friendly phone.

Annnnd Side-profile

Sat, 14 Nov 2009 18:15:06 -0800

Annnnd Side-profile

Magic can be found everywhere.

Sat, 14 Nov 2009 13:59:46 -0800

Magic can be found everywhere.

If only we were all that excited over black olives.

Sat, 14 Nov 2009 13:56:38 -0800

If only we were all that excited over black olives.

Photo

Sat, 14 Nov 2009 13:53:20 -0800

Photo

Sat, 14 Nov 2009 13:47:10 -0800

Whores and Tigers

Thu, 12 Nov 2009 19:30:00 -0800

me: film is to movie what courtesan is to whore

Blonde: that is an extreme metaphor

me: but totally accurate

Blonde: that is like saying glass is to cup as kitten is tiger

"My, my you’re just like pie when I call you on the phone you say hello and that’s the..."

Wed, 11 Nov 2009 19:23:00 -0800

“

My, my you’re just like pie
when I call you on the phone
you say hello and that’s the crust
but the filling is yet to come

my, my you’re just like eggs
you’re all slimy on the outside and yolky in the middle
wait a second
that’s not right
what I really meant
is that I love you in the morning

Ohhh I love you in the morning

oooo oooh my my

no joke you’re an artichoke
you have to peel away the outside which is good you know but the inside is better
I love to savor your juicy heart
and dip you in the butter
ohhhh I’ll dip you in the butter

ohhhh I love you in the morning

my my you’re just like pie

”

- original Gabriel Mann; preferred version by Naked Voices

"Every journey to a forbidden end begins with the first step. The danger of such a step by the..."

Wed, 11 Nov 2009 15:44:18 -0800

“Every journey to a forbidden end begins with the first step. The danger of such a step by the federal government in the direction of taking over the powers of the states is that the end of the journey may find the states so despoiled of their powers (or what might amount to the same thing) so relieved of their responsibilities which possession of the powers necessarily enjoins as to reduce them to little more than geographical subdivisions of the national domain.”

- Carter v. Carter Coal Company

Photo

Tue, 10 Nov 2009 21:32:25 -0800

Photo

Mon, 09 Nov 2009 20:36:19 -0800

And She Kept Walking

Mon, 09 Nov 2009 20:22:01 -0800

Her smile was falling off all day. But she didn’t seem to notice, and everyone else was too embarrassed to say anything. At first it just looked a bit off kilter, a little crooked, like a crayon drawing or a cloud or a one-way street. But then it got worse. It moved up to her cheek for a while, remaining there while she mailed some bills at the post office. Then it slipped down to her chin, where it dangled and jiggled as she shopped for bread, milk, and instant Jello at the supermarket. From there, the smile slid down her neck and under her blouse, reemerging once again on her left bicep. It looked a bit like a tattoo in that position, and people who saw her during this time, and didn’t know any better, thought of her as a real bad ass. But still, nobody said a word. Her hair was pulled tightly into a bun so everyone who was looking could see the smile when it moved again to the back of her neck. And there it began to grow. It grew and grew and grew like a wart or a cyst or a tomato plant or a ten-year old child. And then it fell off. It fell off as she was walking down the sidewalk toward her home in the middle of a housing tract. It fell off and she kept walking. It made a terrible shattering sound, like a dropped mirror or a jet plane or gunfire. She didn’t hear it, but her neighbors did. They stopped mowing their lawns and trimming their hedges and drinking their lemonade and smoking their cigarettes in order to look at the smile’s scattered shards on the ground.

"Cause I can’t fight this feeling anymore. I’ve forgotten what I started fighting for. And if I have..."

Mon, 09 Nov 2009 09:06:01 -0800

“Cause I can’t fight this feeling anymore.
I’ve forgotten what I started fighting for.
And if I have to crawl upon the floor,
Come crushing through your door,
Baby, I can’t fight this feeling anymore.”

- REO

Ain’t no mountain high enough, ain’t no river wide...

Sun, 08 Nov 2009 20:32:56 -0800

Ain’t no mountain high enough, ain’t no river wide enough, ain’t no country large enough, to keep me from getting to you!